Sharel Shindler - Divorce Mediator
Up close and personal with CEL & Associates Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler
What do you look forward to the most about being a divorce mediator?
Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler says: In a divorce, everyone walks away feeling like they've given something up. Its rare that people feel "happy". However, the children of parents who mediate win. They have parents who were active participants in determining their own futures and the futures of their children. They chose NOT to let attorneys or a strange judge determine it for them.
What do you feel some of the biggest challenges divorcing couples face that divorce mediation helps them through?
Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler says: Many couples have already separated prior to seeking divorce mediation. In many cases they have not spoken until they are in a divorce mediation room. I hope that with me, they will quickly realize they've made the right decision to voluntarily mediate. Within the court system, a judge would order it. By the time a judge demands it everyone is usually heated and all financial resources are depleted. Mediation at the end of a divorce satisfies the courts, but it doesn't satisfy the married couple.
Any tips for helping families to create effective parenting plans that you feel are important?
Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler says: Yes! If both parents are active participants in their children's lives, this should remain exactly the same. If one parent hasn't been as active in their children's lives but now wants to be, so be it. Parents are equal. Neither one should determine how much the other should see their own children. Everyone in the family benefits from family togetherness. Everyone!
When someone is choosing a divorce mediator, what is a ‘must’ they should look for?
Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler says: Someone they feel has good "guts". Someone they feel offers good insight and can remain neutral. A divorce mediator should not impose into someone else's family, but will be able to encourage communication between husband and wife and get them to create their future. If you start divorce mediation and you don't feel confident about the divorce mediator, tell them and feel free to choose another.
Any other insights you wish to share?
Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler says: I've seen couples be married for 15 years. Couples that have known each other for 20, 25 years, whatever the number. Once upon a time these people fell in love and created their lives together. Their communication after the divorce ceases. They rely on texting and emailing and have their kids delivered to the driveway. Everyone in the family suffers from this, especially the children. They tell the kids they are loved, but are setting negative examples of how to treat others. Kids internalize their hurt feelings and suffer. I think that divorcing couples need to dig down deep and be cordial. This will help gain their children's respect over time. Also, it is absolutely wrong to think that after being in this situation that one can move on into another relationship or marriage and have it be healthy. It has just as good of a chance at failing as the first one did due to the negative cloud that surrounds it.
To learn more about Divorce Mediator Sharel Shindler or her divorce mediation services, contact her through the CEL & Associates office
at 866-922-4733 ext. 5 or on her cell at 847-331-3304 or email her at sshindler@celandassociates.com.
Visit our divorce mediation blog for information tips, trends, and advice on mediation and divorce at http://www.celandassociates.com/blog/.
